Before I go any further, I'd like to genuinely pass on my sympathies to Whitney Houston's family, at the news of her death.
I can (and do like to) crack a 'dead celebrity' joke as good as the next sick fucker, but what really offends me more than gags about the recently deceased...is whining fucking sycophantic celebrities, lurching out from under their (enforced) rocks, gloating on about how much they "Loved" or "Missed" her, in a vague attempt to get their ugly fucking faces in the newspapers just one more time.
As sad as Miss Houston's passing is, you can almost hear the greedy execs re-packaging another 'Greatest Hits' album...and not to mention, the obligatory D-list motherfuckers 'tweeting' their 'Tributes'
Here's a few of these bleeding heart bastards (in no particular order of punchability)
Kelly Osbourne
The utterly useless, gormless and pointless 'celebrity' shitbag Daughter' stated (quote) "I knew her personally and she was a really lovely woman"
Well you clearly didn't know her personally enough to help her throughout any of her (well documented) drug problems, did you? Maybe if you had, this "Lovely Woman" might still be around. And given that you're never off the internet posting shit to anyone that'll read it, when was the last time you actually 'tweeted' something about Whitney Houston before todays news?
And in a moment of touching self-sacrifice, she also tweeted "I'm not going to any pre-Grammy parties, as I don't feel it appropriate"
OMG..Miss Osbourne is actually sacrificing a night off free food and drink at parties she clearly has no reason to be invited to in the first place. How gracious of her (why did Mother Tersa ever bother?)
Simon Cowell
The (ahem) 'Music Mogul' (Robson & Jerome, anybody?) fought back the crocodile tears and added the heartfelt lament of (quote) "It's really, really horrible"
No fucking shit you oxygen thief, thanks for clearing that one up for us simple folks (not blessed with your 'straight-talking' talent) who obviously thought "It's really, really wonderful"...we know better now Simon....you fucking jumped-up midget tea-boy!
Rihanna
The Grammy-winning amazonian (i.e, Man-looking) singer/part time punch-bag, emoted "No words! Just tears"
I'd gladly sacrifice a 'Diva-A-Day' if it kept this over-exposed bitch, both quiet and crying?
Cheryl Cole
The Geordie songstress swept aside her tears (not to mention her award-winning fake-hair extensions) and dug deep into the dark pit of her emotional 'being' with (quote) "So Sad"
Rose West
(Unavailable for comment)
There's many, many more sycophants I'd love to name and shame, but at 39 years of age, my hatred-levels leave me weak. So although I never knew you Whitney Houston....Rest In Peace. Had you have NOT died, the lacklustre 'tributes' you've received today, may well have sent you on another crack cocaine binge (and possible coma anyhow?)
Whitney Houston......Great Singer......Bad taste in recreational activities.......Worse taste in so-called friends!
I can (and do like to) crack a 'dead celebrity' joke as good as the next sick fucker, but what really offends me more than gags about the recently deceased...is whining fucking sycophantic celebrities, lurching out from under their (enforced) rocks, gloating on about how much they "Loved" or "Missed" her, in a vague attempt to get their ugly fucking faces in the newspapers just one more time.
As sad as Miss Houston's passing is, you can almost hear the greedy execs re-packaging another 'Greatest Hits' album...and not to mention, the obligatory D-list motherfuckers 'tweeting' their 'Tributes'
Here's a few of these bleeding heart bastards (in no particular order of punchability)
Kelly Osbourne
The utterly useless, gormless and pointless 'celebrity' shitbag Daughter' stated (quote) "I knew her personally and she was a really lovely woman"
Well you clearly didn't know her personally enough to help her throughout any of her (well documented) drug problems, did you? Maybe if you had, this "Lovely Woman" might still be around. And given that you're never off the internet posting shit to anyone that'll read it, when was the last time you actually 'tweeted' something about Whitney Houston before todays news?
And in a moment of touching self-sacrifice, she also tweeted "I'm not going to any pre-Grammy parties, as I don't feel it appropriate"
OMG..Miss Osbourne is actually sacrificing a night off free food and drink at parties she clearly has no reason to be invited to in the first place. How gracious of her (why did Mother Tersa ever bother?)
Simon Cowell
The (ahem) 'Music Mogul' (Robson & Jerome, anybody?) fought back the crocodile tears and added the heartfelt lament of (quote) "It's really, really horrible"
No fucking shit you oxygen thief, thanks for clearing that one up for us simple folks (not blessed with your 'straight-talking' talent) who obviously thought "It's really, really wonderful"...we know better now Simon....you fucking jumped-up midget tea-boy!
Rihanna
The Grammy-winning amazonian (i.e, Man-looking) singer/part time punch-bag, emoted "No words! Just tears"
I'd gladly sacrifice a 'Diva-A-Day' if it kept this over-exposed bitch, both quiet and crying?
Cheryl Cole
The Geordie songstress swept aside her tears (not to mention her award-winning fake-hair extensions) and dug deep into the dark pit of her emotional 'being' with (quote) "So Sad"
Rose West
(Unavailable for comment)
There's many, many more sycophants I'd love to name and shame, but at 39 years of age, my hatred-levels leave me weak. So although I never knew you Whitney Houston....Rest In Peace. Had you have NOT died, the lacklustre 'tributes' you've received today, may well have sent you on another crack cocaine binge (and possible coma anyhow?)
Whitney Houston......Great Singer......Bad taste in recreational activities.......Worse taste in so-called friends!
