JIMMY SAVILE: Guilty-No? Innocent-No? Dead-Yes!

Don't know about you guys (and gals) but my eyes and ears feel a little 'raped' over the non-stop allegations against (the STILL 84 year old) Disc Jockey/presenter/fund raiser Sir Jimmy Savile O.B.E.

 (I'll never forget when Uncle Jimmy 'put me up' for the night)

I personally think it's all bullshit. None of these claims were received until after the 'Exposure' tv show. Now it's one thing to say "Oh well, Jimmy Savile had serious clout with those in the know, and had the power to keep these things covered up" But...
Jimmy Saville had been dead, almost a year before the 'Exposure' show (which in itself, was an extremely padded affair, investigated by and featuring what seemed to be bitter people suffering from total recall) all of which (rightfully) caused 'Joe Public' to ask "Why didn't these people speak earlier?"

And considering there's now been hundreds more 'allegations' since the tv programme, only add more weight to the "Why didn't these people speak earlier?" question? But hey, let's hold an extremely one-sided case against a guy no longer on God's-green-and-blue-fucking-misery-orb, who needs (or even cares) facts, when we've got a never-ending parade of lurid tabloid headlines to fall back onto.

Have you read any of these allegations?

I thought the worst of such was reached with (quote) "Jimmy Savile molested a brain damaged patient in hospital"...But no.

It also transpires that (quote) "Jimmy Savile had previously groped Prince Edwards wife" and he (quote) "had his own set of gold keys to Broadmore" (being the latest)

I hope that people who read these headlines actually realise, that when you get given a golden key to an institution (or town) for your endevours, that the 'key' is merely a gesture and not a physical-fucking-key that actually opens any (or all) doors....you fucking dolts!

Of course, these allegations have seen the many charities, friends and families back away from his memory.....The label 'paedophile' can stick with a person and those around them (guilty or otherwise) and leave a lasting stench for a fair few ancestral lifetimes.

 These allegations are getting worse by the day (and speak volumes about the gutter-press, that choose to print such shite) and now it seems (as I predicted) people are attempting to take legal action against the BBC

WHAT THE FUCK FOR, I ASK?

Jimmy Savile is extremely dead. And I hardly think that 'Aunty Beeb' held you down, whilst 'Uncle Jimmy' went to work? Even if any of this bullshit is to be believed about Savile being too big to touch (every pun intended) then these same 'damaged' people had plenty of recourse to shout their points across at the many live televised shows  the BBC has done over the years.....But you didn't...Did you?

You could have shouted "Jimmy diddled me" on 'Multi-coloured Swap Shop'

But you didn't?

You could have rang Sarah Greene and announced that "Jim had fixed your piles" on 'Going Live'

But you didn't? 

BBC have televised numerous live sports events over the last 30 years, that you could have easily hijacked with your side of the story

 But you didn't? 

In fact, Mr Saviles extremely public funeral procession (which was full of 'soon-to-be-turncoat' celebrities, crying crocodile tears for generous Sir Jimmy) would have been the perfect platform to air your grievances

  But you didn't?

 

(Yet strange that the entire fucking nation took to the streets five minutes after DEIDRE BARLOW was sent to prison in Coronation Street in 1998.....Yet not one motherfucker ever made it to the press about the real-life crimes of Jimmy Savile during his lifetime?)

If Jimmy Savile IS guilty, then let's hang him (oops, silly me...he's already dead) Which makes the legal action, the allegations, and the endless newspaper headlines, a little bit like Jimmy himself....i.e, LATE!

The biggest crime being, that all his victims remained silent until now. Personally, I believe that these allegations are coming from people either too bitter, or fresh out of accident/PPI/Employment exemption claims, to exploit. 

"Paedophilia" ...more like "Necrophilia" to me

Stick to the Guinness (aka 'The Death Of Whitney Houston')

Before I go any further, I'd like to genuinely pass on my sympathies to Whitney Houston's family, at the news of her death.

I can (and do like to) crack a 'dead celebrity' joke as good as the next sick fucker, but what really offends me more than gags about the recently deceased...is whining fucking sycophantic celebrities, lurching out from under their (enforced) rocks, gloating on about how much they "Loved" or "Missed" her, in a vague attempt to get their ugly fucking faces in the newspapers just one more time.

As sad as Miss Houston's passing is, you can almost hear the greedy execs re-packaging another 'Greatest Hits' album...and not to mention, the obligatory D-list motherfuckers 'tweeting' their 'Tributes'

Here's a few of these bleeding heart bastards (in no particular order of punchability)

Kelly Osbourne



The utterly useless, gormless and pointless 'celebrity' shitbag Daughter' stated (quote) "I knew her personally and she was a really lovely woman"

Well you clearly didn't know her personally enough to help her throughout any of her (well documented) drug problems, did you? Maybe if you had, this "Lovely Woman" might still be around. And given that you're never off the internet posting shit to anyone that'll read it, when was the last time you actually 'tweeted' something about Whitney Houston before todays news?

And in a moment of touching self-sacrifice, she also tweeted "I'm not going to any pre-Grammy parties, as I don't feel it appropriate"

OMG..Miss Osbourne is actually sacrificing a night off free food and drink at parties she clearly has no reason to be invited to in the first place. How gracious of her (why did Mother Tersa ever bother?)



Simon Cowell



The (ahem) 'Music Mogul' (Robson & Jerome, anybody?) fought back the crocodile tears and added the heartfelt lament of (quote) "It's really, really horrible"
No fucking shit you oxygen thief, thanks for clearing that one up for us simple folks (not blessed with your 'straight-talking' talent) who obviously thought "It's really, really wonderful"...we know better now Simon....you fucking jumped-up midget tea-boy!



Rihanna



The Grammy-winning amazonian (i.e, Man-looking) singer/part time punch-bag, emoted "No words! Just tears"

I'd gladly sacrifice a 'Diva-A-Day' if it kept this over-exposed bitch, both quiet and crying?



Cheryl Cole



The Geordie songstress swept aside her tears (not to mention her award-winning fake-hair extensions) and dug deep into the dark pit of her emotional 'being' with (quote) "So Sad"



Rose West


(Unavailable for comment)



There's many, many more sycophants I'd love to name and shame, but at 39 years of age, my hatred-levels leave me weak. So although I never knew you Whitney Houston....Rest In Peace. Had you have NOT died, the lacklustre 'tributes' you've received today, may well have sent you on another crack cocaine binge (and possible coma anyhow?)

Whitney Houston......Great Singer......Bad taste in recreational activities.......Worse taste in so-called friends!

De Palma remakes HEAT (1986) with Jason-Fucking-Statham!!!!

I love the Burt Reynolds version. I also love De Palma movies.

But enough-is-a-fucking-enough!


But I wish they'd just stop remaking classics and sticking Jason-Fucking-Statham in them. He rarely convinces as a genuine tough-guy...but it doesn't stop hollywood hiring him to rape the memory of Carradine, Bronson...and now Burt Reynolds.
I actually like Statham (in a sort of Danny Dyer kinda' way) but 'muscles' don't make you a tough-guy, Jason mate.
I'm sure he enjoys the paychecks (and all) but even he must be pissed off at always landing second-hand scripts and concepts at the moment (and YES, i know HEAT is based on a William Goldman novel) But Statham is pissing all over what possible potential, he once had.

And thinking back to the (putrid) MECHANIC remake (which was cat-shit from a dog's arse) I'm guessing the HEAT update will be more of the same?



Although I'm sure it's target audience (i.e, 13 year old boys with wavey hair, 'jeggins' and mobile-phone-life-support-systems) will find it 'kick ass' enough to clog up the multiplexes (groan!)

For the record, HEAT (1986) is a masterpiece, that I've forced upon many a disinterested friend, over the years. Reynolds plays a world-weary tough guy, Nick Escalante, living out his later years as a bodyguard-for-hire in Las Vegas. All Nick wants to do is retire in Venice, but being a gambling addict doesn't help his financial problems. So things look up, when a wealthy young broker offers Escalante big bucks to teach him about courage. However, Nicks past catches up with him, in the form of a brattish mob boss...eager for Escalante's blood.

The remake (I'm 99% sure) will have a gayballs nu-metal soundtrack, a truck explosion, and another silly anglo-American-cockney accent from Statham.....Truly fucking sad times we live in!



Oh, and I can't wait for Tarantino to suddenly proclaim the 1986 version as his 'new' favourite movie of all time (leading to his fan-boys adding extrta revenue to this unwarranted remake)

Ha-Fucking-Ha!

I found it funny

The Bicycle Thieves (or 'another reason to hate Middlesbrough')

Venturing through Middlesbrough Town Centre today, and saw this disheartening sight

Not sure why I felt compelled to take a picture (mind you, I usually take various pictures of whatever unhealthy meal I'm eating that day, also) But this sight, was not only a sad reflection of crime (at it's most senseless) but also a 'mood' piece, to add to Middlesbrough's (already) shoddy reputation....and a critique of basic ('fuck you) human behaviour.

Not content of stripping away whatever they could easily remove, the thief decided to buckle the wheel that was attached to the lock. As i stood there, looking at the raped carcass of what (I'm assuming) was someones mode of transport....the final kick in the teeth was the buckled wheel. Simple of case of the "I can't have it....no-one can have it" mindset, that scares me a lot more than the theft of the steering wheel/front wheel, seat, etc. I was amazed they left the chain (surely they could have mugged someone with it?)

Sometimes I can wake up, without a care in the world, and bluff my way through another seventeen 0r eighteen hours. Unfortunately, days like this are getting few and far between (partly because 'Sights' like this...aren't)

Shitty 'Housewife' Magazine Covers- Part 1

I say 'Housewife'...but to be fair, it's hard to tell who is the market for these tawdry ('Isn't-life-shit) magazines, that seem to be aimed at women?

Gotta' love these dreary magazines that (over) populate the shelves in all respectable supermarkets. All the worse for featuring some truly dreadful 'Headlines' and (as always) matched with some glamorous (would-be) catalogue model smiling in the foreground, amidst headlines like (i shit thee not) "GANG RAPED ON PAYDAY" and "GIRL WHO GAVE BIRTH TO HER OWN BROTHER"

The recipe for these layouts is simple:

1) Top left hand side main picture of some dozy looking model with a shit-eating grin, clearly oblivious to the sex and violence in the surrounding headlines?

2) Semi-harmless (i.e, non-fatal) 'headlines' ("I PAINT WITH MY BOOBS" or "I HAVE A GUT LIKE JABBA THE HUTT")

3) Highly offensive (attention grabbing) main headline (usually involving 'Incest' or 'Paedophilia')



Gonna start posting more and more of these covers up, as quite frankly i think they're fucking hilarious (in an ironic, ironic manner, that is) like a watered down 'fictional' readers wife letter in a bongo mag.

What The Fuck (part 1)

Pretty much everything I hate about music, is encapsulated in this turgid piece of retarded mongrel shit. Hopefully the majority of the 'Kids' will see through this manufactured, wonky-faced, talentless gimpoid chav.....but the fact that ADULTS have actually sat down and produced, recorded and marketed this garbage is what really turns my shit to diarrhoea.

The BLACK EYED PEAS (an equally talentless group) have a lot to answer for, with this meaningless over-produced 'soundbite' music, that clogs up the airwaves like dead babies in a cistern. As much as i love genuine 'Rap/Hip-Hop' music.....this diluted shit makes me wanna go outside and start stabbing people. If i ever hear anyone playing (or singing) his shit, I'm going to follow them, find out where they live....and make it my life's mission to wreck as much fucking trouble to their lives as humanly (and extra-terrestrially) possible!


Verdict: Far more dated than the 'old school timespace' it intends to ape. A chorus that sounds like 'My Darling Clementine' shat out by a teenager, whose general appearence gives new meaning to the word 'Mong' (replete with multicultural 'dauncers' looking slightly embarrassed that their careers will always involve propping up lesser talents...like this foetus-faced oxygen thief)